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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome several hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her husband walked away, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle vanished then, as they were only interested in the spouse. It shocked her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, and must have understood better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

In the time since, quite a few close to her vanished without her being sure why. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she had been highly competent, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, but I am finding my role in our friendship is as the audience. I start topics of conversation but she shifts conversation onto her own topics. Politically, she has strong opinions. My effort is to suggest verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a holiday to a nation I have traveled to many times even called home previously. My intention was to offer insights, but this was not welcomed. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her decisions. I've just returned from 30 days in that place and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to act as a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on my self-esteem. Currently, I am in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could walk away, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of a solution requires bravery and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state how things go in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. The second is to express the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute about this. What you feel are valid, naturally. Step three is to question ways you together will alter the interaction in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. An approach that works is to say her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be successful in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals have a deep-seated story: they have a version about themselves they cannot let go of because their very survival is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult when there seems no easy route here, mere obstacles. But she may at first react this way before reflecting your perspective. If a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you peace knowing you were open and direct.