From ‘Energy Vampires’ - Uncover the Reasons Downbeat Pals Might Help You Personally
I am hungry for wisdom from others about handling midlife challenges, for example deep inner questions, diminishing importance, growing a neck akin to a surrealist painting and a newfound passion for A Place in the Sun. Lately, I read the chef’s comments about hitting fifty in an interview: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”
At first, I pondered: doesn’t this conflict regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.
Perhaps you’re one too. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?
If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
